Spirit Keeping for Beginners: What to Know Before You Begin

In Jutland they used to tell of a nisse who sat down to his evening porridge and found no butter in it. He went straight to the cow-house and twisted the neck of the best cow. Still hungry, he went back to the bowl, and at the bottom, under the porridge, he found the butter. It had sunk. The maid had not forgotten him after all.

He was so ashamed that he left a chest of money beside the dead cow, and the family did very well out of it.

I like to begin there, because that small story holds most of what a beginner needs to know about spirit keeping. There is a bowl and a rule. There is a being with its own temper, and a household that lives alongside it. And there is a mistake, which is how most of us learn anything.

This guide covers what spirit keeping is, where it comes from, what a spirit vessel is for, what the first weeks usually feel like, and how to begin well. It will not teach you everything. Nothing that fits on one page should.

What is spirit keeping?

Spirit keeping is the practice of living in a steady relationship with a spirit companion. The spirit is usually linked to a vessel, such as a ring, a pendant or a stone, and the keeper tends that link over months and years.

"Tending" sounds vague, so here is what it looks like in an ordinary week. You greet the spirit when you sit down in the evening. You notice you have dreamt of the same staircase three nights running, and you write it down. Now and then you leave something by the vessel: a candle, a little water, a few words. You keep your own life, the spirit keeps its own nature, and slowly you learn each other.

Some people talk about spirits the way children talk about trading cards: how many, how rare, how powerful. That approach gets you a full shelf and an empty practice. You can invite a spirit, welcome it and look after the bond. You cannot own it, and you cannot order it to fix your life. Most keepers learn the second part the first time they try.

The role a companion takes varies. Some are protective and stay close to the door. Some guide, which in practice often means a nudge towards a book, a person or a decision. Some are simply company. You will not always know which kind you have at the start, and that is normal.

Is spirit keeping new?

The name is fairly new. The practice is old, and the North is full of it.

An old Danish farm was said to have its nisse, a small house spirit who lived in the barn or the loft and looked after the animals. Nobody worshipped him. He was kept: fed porridge with butter on Christmas Eve, spoken of with respect, and never mocked. He disliked change, so the household did things the way they had always been done. In return the farm prospered. The rules ran both ways, and everyone on the farm knew them.

Further south, in German folk belief, people kept the alraun, a mandrake root shaped roughly like a small man. It lived in a chest, wrapped in silk. Its owner took it out every Friday, or once a month depending on who tells it, washed it in red wine and wrapped it in a clean cloth again. In return it answered questions and brought luck. Neglected, it was said to shriek. When the owner died, only the youngest son could inherit it, and only if he laid a loaf of white bread and a coin in his father's coffin.

Then there is the spiritus familiaris, a helpful spirit kept in a glass bottle. Grimmelshausen wrote about one in 1670. It brought its owner luck in business, but it came with a condition. Before you died, you had to sell it on for less than you had paid, or it took you to hell with it. Those were not ethical sellers.

Look past the drama and the pattern is the same each time: a spirit with a place to live, a keeper who tends it on a rhythm, and rules that both sides keep. Modern spirit keeping is that old arrangement without the hellfire clause.

If you want more of the Northern beings and how people lived beside them, I wrote The Hidden Folk.

What is a spirit vessel?

A spirit vessel is the object a spirit is linked to: a ring, a pendant, a stone, a key, sometimes a small box. The alraun's chest was a vessel. So was the bottle.

In my work the vessel is a focal point and a resting place. It gives the spirit a fixed point in our world, and it gives you something to turn towards when you greet it, leave an offering or ask a question. Most of us connect more easily with something we can hold. The vessel lets the bond settle into ordinary life: on the bedside table, around your neck, in your pocket on a hard day.

The spirit is not trapped in it. None of the spirits I keep are bound by force. They come and go, and they come back to the vessel the way you come back to your own front door. Holding a spirit against its will is a different practice, an unethical one, and it tends to end badly for the keeper. A resentful spirit spends its time looking for the way out.

A few practical notes for a new vessel:

• Give it one home. For the first weeks, choose a single place: a shelf, a windowsill or the bedside table. A drawer full of receipts and spare keys does not count.
• Decide whether you will wear it. A worn vessel is with you all day, and the bond often builds faster. Others keep theirs in one place and visit it, as the alraun's owners did.
• Keep other hands off it at first. Let the spirit learn you before it meets your friends.

The spirit companions I offer arrive in vessels that are already prepared. If you want to prepare and consecrate a vessel yourself, the rite is in Veilwalkers.

What happens in the first weeks?

Usually less than people expect, and more than they notice.

Some keepers feel their companion on the first night. Most have a quieter start. These are the signs I hear about most often in the first weeks:

• the air around the vessel feels different, warmer or cooler or heavier
• dreams that are unusually vivid, or that repeat
• a thought that arrives fully formed and does not sound like your own
• the same animal, number or word turning up again and again
• a plain sense that you are not quite alone in the room

None of these proves anything on its own, and you do not need proof in the first month. What helps is a record. Keep a small notebook by the vessel and write two or three lines each evening: what you did, what you dreamt, anything that caught your attention. After three or four weeks, read it back from the first page. Patterns that are invisible day by day often stand out on paper.

Some companions are lively at first and then go quiet for a while. That silence is common, and it has several causes, some of which have more to do with the keeper than the spirit. I go through them in Veilwalkers, in the chapter on why a spirit might withdraw.

Do you need to be psychic to keep spirits?

No. You do not need to be a medium, or to have seen ghosts as a child. Some people are born sensitive. Most get there through practice, the way you learn to tell two birdsongs apart that once sounded the same.

What matters more is patience, honesty with yourself, and the habit of noticing small things without inflating them. The keepers who struggle most are rarely the ones with no gift. They are the ones who decided in advance what should happen, and so stopped paying attention to what does.

Is spirit keeping dangerous?

It can be, in the way an open fire is dangerous. Tended, a hearth keeps a house warm. Neglected or played with, it burns. Most trouble in spirit keeping comes from carelessness: spirits taken from people who do not know what they are passing on, rituals copied from strangers online, or a keeper who stops trusting their own judgment.

Watch for these signs in yourself:

• tiredness that rest does not fix
• dread around the vessel, or a strong wish to avoid it
• moods that swing for no reason you can find
• broken sleep that goes on for more than a few nights

If you notice them, step back. Move the vessel to another room for a few days, eat properly, go outside, see people. A healthy bond survives a pause, and spirits are good at waiting. If you stop sleeping, feel frightened most of the time, or see or hear things that distress you, talk to a doctor or someone you trust. Spirit work sits beside ordinary life and ordinary care. It does not replace either.

Every companion I offer has spent time with me first, and I watch how it behaves before I decide who it suits. I do not pass on tricksters, or spirits that drain their keepers. If you have questions before choosing, start with the Help & FAQ.

Deception, energy drain and the kinds of spirits that should never be kept each get their own section in Veilwalkers.

How to begin spirit keeping: your first month

Keep the first month simple. These are the habits I would give any new keeper.

1. Give the vessel a home. One place, chosen on purpose, where it stays for the first weeks.
2. Say hello out loud on the first evening. Your name, a welcome, and one plain sentence about why you invited the spirit in. Ceremony can come later.
3. Set one boundary in the first week. For example: not in my dreams unless I ask, or not in the bedroom at night. Say it clearly, once. You can widen it later. Boundaries are much easier to set before something happens than after.
4. Offer small and often. A tealight every Sunday evening does more than a feast once a season. What your particular companion responds to is something you learn over time. The spirits from me come with notes on that.
5. Write things down. Two or three lines an evening in the notebook.
6. Keep living your life. Do not check the vessel for signs every hour. A spirit that has just arrived is learning your rhythm, and your rhythm should include work, sleep, friends and dinner.

That is enough to begin well. What it leaves out is the deeper work: the full rite of welcome, offerings for different kinds of spirits, setting boundaries around dreams, energy and emotion, and how a bond is strengthened over years. That is the part a blog post cannot hold, and it is what I wrote Veilwalkers for.

Common mistakes beginners make

• Asking for proof on the first night. A spirit that has just arrived owes you nothing, least of all a performance.
  
• Reading meaning into everything. Sometimes a flickering bulb is just a flickering bulb. Look for patterns over weeks, not single events.
• Handing over your decisions. A companion can nudge, warn and comfort. Whether you take the job is still your call.
• Welcoming a spirit and then forgetting it. A neglected bond goes quiet. The alraun's owners knew this. Theirs screamed.
• Mixing practices from everywhere. Five traditions copied from five videos give you noise. Learn one way properly before you add another.

Spirit keeping FAQ

Do I have to give offerings?

Not every spirit asks for physical offerings, but every spirit notices attention. Time, a spoken word and a candle all count. Start small and see what your companion responds to.

Can I keep more than one spirit?

Yes, and many keepers do. 

What if I feel nothing at all?

Keep going, and keep the notebook. Many keepers feel little in the first weeks and then find, reading back, that the signs were there all along. If months pass with nothing, look at your own evenings before you doubt the spirit. Rushed, distracted days make for poor listening.

Can other people touch my vessel?

It will not break the bond, but at the start I would keep it to yourself. Let the spirit learn you first.

Can I sleep with my vessel?

Some keepers do. If your dreams become crowded or your sleep suffers, move the vessel out of the bedroom for a while.

What if I want to stop?

Then the spirit is released, with thanks. Some bonds are meant for a season, and ending one properly is part of the craft. How to do it is covered in Veilwalkers.

Where to go from here

Meet the companions. If you feel drawn to begin, my available spirit companions are waiting. Each one comes with notes on its nature and what it responds to.

Read the full guide. Veilwalkers: A Guide to Spirit Keeping Beyond the Basics is the book I wrote for keepers who want more than this page can give. Inside:

• the kinds of spirits, and how to tell them apart
• how spirits speak through signs, dreams and divination
• the rite of welcome, and how to consecrate a vessel
• offerings for different kinds of spirits, and how to give without draining yourself
• how to recognize deception and energy drain
• keeping more than one spirit under one roof
• how to release a spirit properly

English-language PDF. Sold separately. Optional further reading, not a requirement for welcoming a spirit companion.

Questions first? The Help & FAQ is worth reading before you choose.

Start with one vessel, one shelf and a notebook. The rest arrives on its own schedule, which is rarely yours.

— Hazel